Friday, January 3, 2014

EM #3 Professional Speaker: The Sales Training Speech



Project 3: The Sales Training Speech

How do you feel about car dealerships? Anyone had a bad experience?  Do they make you feel comfortable, happy?  How about motivated, good about yourself? 
Personally, a bubble of anxiety rises in my stomach when I think of poor CRV one day kicking the bucket and having to go to one of those pushy salesman to buy a new car.  I would rather drive in the worst car, or have people give me rides before I do that. 
Once my husband thought it would make a great date to go car
shopping.  Right.  Honestly men, way to think out of the box.  He had received a “Golden ticket” in the mail.  Everyone’s a winner, it said on the letter.  My husband’s so gullible.  Anyway, going to a dealership was not my idea of a picnic basket dinner and romantic candlelight, but, I know there is give and take in all relationships, so the next week I made sure I tortured him with lots of shopping for the date I had prepared.  See give and take. 
Right away, a car salesman walked up to us in a bright purple shirt, barbells coming out of his ears, and rings in all shapes and sizes covering his face.   Great, I thought.  This is going to be good.  We walked in and immediately he started asking about us.  Where did we live?  What did we do for work?  Who are parents are and how he knows them distantly, blah, blah, blah.  The whole time I was thinking, I know what you’re doing.  You are trying to connect with me, to make the sale.  I know this and yet at the end of sitting in the office talking with him, I felt comfortable and flattered.  Completely. 
Then he started asking about what we wanted in a car.  A lot of factors play a role in the average person or family purchasing a new car. Credit and affordability is the main concern for many people with buying a new car. Some people wait until their old car is on its last leg before buying a replacement due to the financial burden it can cause.   He was very agreeable, and I thought for sure after riding in three different cars with him, my husband was going to buy one, which was not the point of our date.  We wanted to be the Golden Ticket winners, remember.  Well, story short, we did not buy a car, and we did win something, a two dollar bill, but the techniques he used were fascinating and if I would have let it, it would have worked on my husband. 
However, the typical consumer often buys a new car every 5 to 10 years depending on the condition of their old car.  Americans purchase around 9 cars in their lifetime.  That’s nine times of going to a dealership…plus all the other times it takes to find the right car at the right dealership. 
There can be alot of negative connotation when it comes to buying and selling, especially when I’m buying a car.  So, what separates the sellers that sell, and the sellers that fail?  Well there are a lot of tricks in the trade by reading books like Selling for Dummies is going to overwhelm us.  And we all have our favorites.  We also know we go through times of dryness where we don’t sell much for periods of time and we’re feeling down about our selling capabilities.  Here are 3 tips to focus on for the next time you hit your dry spell and need a little reminder of what you want to accomplish. 
1.      Believe in the product you’re selling
2.      Don’t let the world of other products overwhelm you
3.      Keep with the times
1.   First of all salesmen, the most important part of selling to your customers is to believe in the product you are selling. 
When I got home from my mission in Las Vegas, I took a job selling bras at Victoria Secret.  I went from helping to save souls, to helping people’s cleavage and love life take a leap.  Literally.  I stunk at it.  I hid in the backroom organizing anything I could so I did not have to be on the sales floor.  I hated selling credit to people, knowing that their whole purpose in giving these out to others was to make their lives miserable with all of the interest they would rack up by not paying their bill on time. 
I eventually started to enjoy working with the girls, but at first their worldliness, low cut blouses and short skirts, snappy personalities whose motto was sell, sell, sell made it hard for me to like them. 
But liking the girls I worked with didn’t like my measuring chest sizes, going into dressing rooms and being flashed with, “Does this make me look fat?”  So I was a processor instead.  I put censors on all of the clothing, stocked shelves, and pretty much was the honcho of the backroom. 
It made a world of difference to go from a mission to a job.  I dreaded going to work, I hated that they worked me on Sundays, and I felt uninspired about what I was actually doing.  I was pushing others’ business along. 
One of my favorite short clips movies is called The Greatest Salesman in the World.  It’s a boy who goes out to see his product, and he fails multiple times throughout the clip, but I love one quote that he says.  “Wealth should never be your goal in life. True wealth is of the heart, not of the purse.” ― Og MandinoThe Greatest Salesman In The World
You might have heard the expression: teachers do not go into teaching for the money.  And it’s so true.  The career I have now is exactly what I want to do, and even though I have my days, I have ultimate goals, days that inspire me, and progress to be seen.  No amount of wealth can make up for those factors. 
If you are in this selling business just for the money, you might as well pack it up, because your buyers will see and feel that.  Just like my students don’t want to feel like a dollar sign, I must show my students I care, and teach them, and inspire them with learning.  You need your buyers to feel like you are concerned with their well-being and that you honestly think the product you are selling them will help their life.
If you have negative feelings towards your product and hate what you are selling for obvious reasons, maybe it is time to evaluate what you are doing, and switch products.    
2.   Don’t let the world of other products overwhelm you.
I want to be an author one day, and as I sit in my room and write, I struggle with the thought that there are about 129 million books in the world published, and many more million forming, in the writing process, and are in publishers and editors fingertips. 
Most writers will not make it because admiration of an author is not enough, and that is how most writers start.  If we cannot produce the same product, we are not writers.  But let’s say a writer does make it to the publishing process.  Major publishers get about 5,000 manuscripts a year and choose typically five.    That’s a one in a thousand chance of being accepted for publication. 
Publishers who accept unsolicited submissions will reject 90% of them before finishing the first page. 99% are rejected by the end of the first chapter.
You may be an author yourself, and when you look at these daunting statistics, it seems scary, and not worth the risk.  But those that really love what they do, and believe in what they do, many succeed, in some shape or form. 
Another quote from deathman of a salesman that I love is-  “I will become a firefly and even in the day my glow will be seen in spite of the sun. Let others be as butterflies who preen their wings yet depend on the charity of a flower for life.” 
Most will not succeed in what they are trying to sell. Either their product will be made cheaper, their item will become obsolete with the changing times, or the seller will not be motivated enough to get their product out there.  I think this wuote is saying that those that will succeed are the ones that will still shine through no matter the glare of problems and obstacles in front of them.  Luckily, I love the art of writing, and so, watch out for my books in store. 
3.  Keep with the times.   
I loved this movie quote from He’s not that into You, where Drew Barrymore is lamenting the frustration of competing with the many modes of technology just to get in contact with a boy she likes on MySpace.  She said to her girlfriend at work-
"I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, and so I called him at home, and he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."
What happened to good olf fashioned letters in the mail, call on the phone, or hey, what do you know, a personal visit face to face.  And that movie was made in 2009, which only makes it five years old.  Since then Myspace is obsolete, who knows what a blackberry is anymore with all of the Apple products bouncing around, and Facebook is the new portal into someone’s bedroom.  This is just an example of how technology had drastically changed the way we do business. 
In an ever changing world, the seller has had to adjust to the many different ways of communication.  No longer does an entire city or town go to one store to buy their groceries.  Likewise, a consumer does not go to one avenue to find what they want and need.   Sellers need to be open to the many changing technological advances that are being changed even today.  People have ambitions, and they want their products seen by the masses.  From door to door selling, ads in the newspaper, ads on the radio, and posters claiming to have the best product, sellers are now competing with companies offering the same product in far across countries that are sold cheaper and sometimes, in the same quality.
Well, that’s depressing isn’t it?  Why don’t we just give up now, and let those big and mighty businesses take us down.
Because, we have something to say.  We have something to give, and falling down and rising up is a natural body movement.   We must adjust to the ever changing ways of society and become a part of the next wave of action.  But we can only do that if we stick our head in the water, and see what’s really going on.  We have to advance our computer skills, keep up to date with the newest phones, ways of promoting, and heaven forbid, create a new and advancing way of promoting a product that cause tsunamis in business everywhere. 
Closing
Sellers of America, there is a fear associated with buying from sellers.  As a fellow seller, we have to remember we are consumers also.  As a consumer, we don’t want to be just another number, or check in their pocket.  Let’s not let the world of buying and selling scare us away from becoming great. 
Remember these three tips to focus on for the next time you hit your dry spell and need a little reminder of what you want to accomplish. 
1.      Believe in the product you’re selling
2.      Don’t let the world of other products overwhelm you
3.      Keep with the times
To make an impact in this new selling world, you have to have more heart and soul into what you want to communicate, more training, and more education. 



EM Speech #5 Homer Simpsons Life: The American dream

There is a great Simpsons episode in which Homer, overcome by carbon-monoxide fumes, hallucinates that he is an Ottoman sultan. Though he is surrounded by gyrating concubines, the Simpson family patriarch is not satisfied. "I grow weary of your sexually suggestive dancing," he says. "Bring me my ranch-dressing hose!" Within seconds, the women are blasting him with a geyser of gooey ranch.

Homer's tastes are meant to reflect those of the American everyman, and in this case the Simpsons writers nailed it: Ranch dressing has been the nation's best-selling salad topper since 1992, when it overtook Italian. How did this simple mixture of mayonnaise, buttermilk, and herbs become America's favorite way to liven up lettuce?


Beginning with Homer, a fat, lazy, unmotivated slob with a love of beer and all things fried. This portrayal represents a nation of fast-food obsessed, outdoor phobic people who hate their office jobs and allow their lives to be ruled by prime time television. Homer is referred to in more than one episode as a sort of "everyman," a representation of American men. An unflattering portrayal, true, but let's look at the facts: he is an anonymous worker at a large company (despite all the run-ins he has had with his boss, Mr. Burns, his name remains unknown), he watches ridiculous amounts of television, he is devoted to his favorite domestic beer (Duff), he shows an inconsistent interest in his children, he rarely cleans or cooks, and his home projects always fail miserably (like putting together a Bar-B-Q grill in episode AABF15: "English side ruined, must use French side......LE GRILLE?! What the hell is that?!").

Homer's survival skills for the business world seem frighteningly logical and familiar. In episode 7F11, Homer passes on to Bart his timeless knowledge of how to get by in the business world: "I want to share with you the three little sentences that will get you through life: One- �Cover for me.' Two- �Oh, good idea, boss.' Three- �It was like that when I got here.'" Homer is not a hard worker, nor is he a good worker, but for understandable reasons: like many Americans, Homer simply works at the power plant because it is a job that puts food on the table. When Homer worked at the bowling alley in episode 2F10, he enjoyed his job and therefore, was good at it. It was perfect for him, and because he had fun doing it, he performed well. However, the job did not pay much money, so when Maggie came along, he had to give it up to feed the family. He returned to the power plant, a job he does not necessarily loathe, but rather, a job in which he is just disinterested. To him, it is just a job, a source of income, and nothing more, and because of that he does not make an effort at it. It does not touch on any of his interests, and therefore, he performs poorly. Just like many Americans, Homer did not pick a job that was specially suited to his skills and interests, and therefore, he is ineffective at it.

When he is not at work, Homer's life revolves around the television. In fact, the whole family's lives do, which is especially telling, considering the average American watches approximately three hours and forty-six minutes of television every day (TV-FA). In episode 5F01, where Homer gets a gun, Marge tells him that she heard on television that people with guns are 58% more likely to shoot someone in their family than a burglar, to which a distressed Homer replies, "TV said that?" in a tone of urgency, as though television is the ultimate authority in his life. In another episode, Marge tries to convince Homer to pursue worthwhile things. "We don't think you're slow. But on the other hand, it's not like you go to museums or read books or anything," she says to him. He replies, "Do you think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge. They won't let me. One quality show after another, each one more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once - just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves. But they won't, they won't let me live!"

In episode 7F13, Homer finds a way to get free cable, and he proclaims of it, "Cable. It's more wonderful than I dared hope." During the episode, a plant sitting beside the couch grows up fully and then dies away as the family watches cable endlessly. This is an excellent documentation of American families that have the television on almost twenty-four hours a day: eating in front of it, going to bed to it. This portrays a trend that is growing in America…family together time is becoming television time.

Homer's character is also an excellent example of the age of convenience and instant gratification in which we live - with fast food, one-click internet shopping, cell phones, and remote controls for everything, including our vehicles, all of our daily chores have become quick and easy to do, and everything happens instantaneously. In episode 5F04, Homer is at the Kwik-E-Mart looking through the lottery tickets while Apu sleeps behind the desk. He holds them up to the light so he can see which ones are winners, and soon comes across one that wins 500 dollars. "Apu! Wake up!" He yells. "I want to buy a yodel and this lottery ticket. I have this much." Homer lays his money on the counter in front of Apu, who replies, "I am sorry, but you do not have enough for both." Homer groans and debates for a moment, before resignedly saying, "I'll take the yodel."

Though this may seem like just another joke on Homer, I see it as a comment on our instant gratification society. Though Homer could buy many yodels with the 500 dollars, he could not have them right away and therefore the money is unimportant to him. In today's world, we seem to think that if we something takes time to obtain, it is not worth getting. We'd rather use our credit cards and go into debt than save up. We would rather stop at Wendy's or MacDonald's than cook a healthy meal.
Let us move on to Grampa Simpson, who is an excellent example of how the elderly are perceived and treated. He is constantly ignored, forgotten about, and avoided. He is stereotypically forgetful and tells long, nonsensical stories to which no one pays any attention. In Episode 3F19, Bart becomes frustrated with Grampa's senility after Grampa speaks to his class and embarrasses him. "And then, he claimed he was the one who turned cats and dogs against each other. Why is he always making up those crazy stories?" Homer responds thoughtfully, "Maybe it's time we put Grampa in a home," to which Lisa replies, "You already put him in a home." Bart chimes in, "Maybe it's time we put him in one where he can't get out."
The family also consistently ignores Grampa throughout the show. In episode 9F04, Homer gets Bart a Krusty doll for his birthday. When Bart opens the present, Grampa exclaims, "That doll's evil I tells ya. Evil! EEEEVIL!" Marge retorts, "Grampa, you said that about all the toys!" Grampa slouches over and looks sullen. "I just want attention." In episode 2F09, Homer is complaining about how much he wants to join the Stonecutters, an exclusive organization only open to children of Stonecutters. As Homer laments the fact that he cannot join, Grampa repeats persistently that he is a Stonecutter. Finally, Bart has to point out to Homer what Grampa is saying. "Dad, remember those self-hypnosis courses we took to help us ignore Grampa? Maybe we should be listening to him now." Homer pretty much sums up the general attitude to the elderly in The Simpsons in episode 1F09, when he says to Grampa, "Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless." In a country that has lost the ideal of respect for its elderly, the character of Grampa Simpson sadly rings true.
Another issue the show likes to examine and expose is the state of our schools. Bart and Lisa's elementary school, Springfield Elementary, is run by the insecure, incompetent Principal Skinner and taught by weary, disillusioned teachers like Edna Krabappel and Miss Hoover. Both Edna and Skinner seem to have little hope for the future of the schoolchildren. In episode 8F16, Miss Hoover and Edna sit underneath a "No Smoking" sign at a Yo-Yo Champions assembly, smoking cigarettes and discussing the assembly. "I question the educational value of this assembly." Miss Hoover says wryly. "Hey, It'll be one their few pleasant memories when they're pumping gas for a living." Edna replies. In another episode, however, Edna speaks on behalf of the kids. "Seymour, you have to think of the children's future," she insists, to which Skinner replies without hesitation, "Oh, Edna! We all know that these children HAVE no future!" They are in the cafeteria, which falls silent as all the children stare at Skinner. "Prove me wrong children! Prove me wrong!" He says nervously.

In episode 8F15, all the children take CANT, a Career Aptitude Normalizing Test. Afterwards, Lisa's classmate Janey declares, "Well, that was a waste of time." Lisa rebukes her, saying, "Janey, school is never a waste of time" Immediately following, Ms. Hoover announces, "Since we have fifteen minute until recess, please put down your pencils and stare at the front of the room." In the same episode, Lisa takes all of the teacher's editions of the schoolbooks and the teachers are lost without them. In order to protect Lisa, Bart admits to doing it and as a result is force to write "I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty" repeatedly on the blackboard.
In episode 3F03, where Lisa decides to become a vegetarian, she causes an uproar at school. It begins when she refuses to dissect a worm for class, claiming "I think it's wrong." Miss Hoover pretends to respect Lisa's views but is secretly pushing a button under her desk entitled "independent thought alarm." Further into the episode, Lisa tries to find a vegetarian meal in the cafeteria. When all Doris the lunch lady can come up with is a hot dog bun, Lisa remarks, "Do you remember when you lost your passion for this work?" Doris then also hits the independent thought alarm button. Upon seeing this, Skinner gets nervous, and, determining that the children are "over-stimulated" orders Willie to remove all the colored chalk from the classroom.
Further into the episode, however, he realizes what the real problem is, and in an effort to placate Lisa, he shows a video on meat eating to her class. Blatant meat industry propaganda, the film is titled "The Meat Council Presents: 'Meat and You: Partners in Freedom'. Number 3F03 in the `Resistance is Useless' series." In the film, Troy McClure affirms to the curious Jimmy, " Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!" Jimmy replies, "Wow, Mr. McClure. I was a grade-A moron to ever question eating meat." Troy agrees, "Yes you were, Jimmy. Yes you were." Of course, Lisa realizes what is going on. "Stop it!" She cries. "Don't you realize you've just been brainwashed by corporate propaganda?" But the children only laugh at her. This is indicative of how our schools teach us what they want us to think rather than teaching us to think for ourselves.

Springfield Elementary is an apt portrayal of American school systems and their tendency to stifle creativity, teach half-truths, and value academics over the arts, making the students focus on a hodgepodge of everything rather than letting them pay more attention to their strengths and interests. American school systems consistently teach children what to think rather than how to think. It is easy to see where the writers' frustration with American school systems comes from. American youth are consistently low-scoring on national achievement tests, and schools are often so lacking for money that they have to eliminate any "extraneous" programs, which often include extracurricular sports, art courses, and music classes.
Eliscu, Jenny. "Homer and Me." RollingStone 28 November 2002. 17 November 2003.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

PS #1 The Keynote Address: A Balanced Life

Opening:

Do you ever feel like you take on too much, too quickly?  That you haven't quite figured out what N-O spells?  Your plate starts to fill and you are buried before Wednesday even peeks around the corner.  Anyone felt like this...please say you have so I can feel a little normal!  When was the last time you said yes...when you should have said no?

Mr. Toastmaster, Fellow toastmasters,

A few days ago, I felt like I was running through mud.  Not the pretty kind either.  The sewer kind that's thick, gloppy, and smells of rotten eggs.  You know the kind.  Nothing was going right. Every time I turned the corner, something new fell in my lap.  You ever feel that way?   I sometimes fell that I am too ambitious for my own good.  I am finishing writing a novel and starting two more. Oh ya...and on Friday, I committed to writing someone's life story for them.  I want to be a motivational speaker, and after last week's conference, there is a lot to do to step up that commitment.  And those are just my out of work ambitions.  I still am a teacher, and that in itself is taxing enough.  Parent calls, report cards due next Friday, Parent/teacher conferences coming up, meetings, meeting, and more meetings, grading, planning, and emails.   Additionally, I am the Primary President at my church, an active member of my Toastmasters group, part of a writing club.

Wait...there is something else I am forgetting...oh...that's right!  I am a wife and a mother in a fixer up house that is always breaking!

One night after a particularly long day, I said my husband, "Here take this baby away from me, get out of this room, and let me be for a few minutes."

I locked myself in the computer room and I sat in front of the only thing that would help me.  My stupid Candy Crush came that I have such an addiction to.  Ah...some of you need to come to the CCA meetings with me too, I see.  CCA, Candy Crush Anonymous.

Anyway, while I played my game, I started searching the internet on the other computer monitor.  See my family, we are not stimulated enough with only one computer, so we have two that sit side by side.  One for watching Netflix or playing a computer game, and one for browsing, blogging, or emailing.

I played my game on one monitor screen, while I searched Pinterest on the other screen.  As I numbly moved the mouse from screen to screen, I thought of all the things I should be doing, but wasn't.  A stack of papers I needed to grade sat near me.  "Grade me," they yelled.   My novel was screaming at me from the table next to my bed.  "Read me, edit me!" it persuaded.  My lesson plans yelled out to me from the depths of its word document, "Plan me!" they screamed.  The agenda I had not filled out for Toastmasters shook its invisible finger at me, "Update me," it begged.  A speech that needed to be written on my blog stared blankly at me on one of the tabs I kept hitting accidentally.

Now just by raise of hands, who in here hates being judged?  Ya, I thought as much.  Well, how would you feel to be judged by invisible voices in your head?  And invisible faces on a blank page?

Therapy is the word that should have come to mind, but instead, I ignored all of the schizophrenic voices in my head and just kept moving the addicting jelly beans on the other screen from place to place.

"What are you doing," they all seemed to yell at me at once! "You made a commitment, now stick with it."  I really wish I could say this didn't happen, but so often the voices in my head feel alive, and I am haunted by them, sometimes daily.

Suddenly a quote I had learned earlier that year popped in right before my brain shut off forever.  I couldn't remember where I had heard it from but luckily I was sitting right in front of a source that could help me find the answer.  After a few minutes of searching Google, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and understanding quiet the awful voices in my head as I found it and read a little more about it.  That's what I want to share with you today.  I know we get bogged down in life with all of our daily responsibilities, and managing can seem like a nightmare.

Would you like to know what I found?  Do you want to know what finally shut up those loud obnoxious voices in my head?  The thought that came into my head was this:  What'er' thou art, Act Well thy Part.  (Repeat)

That quote comes from a plaque, and this is a picture of that plaque that currently stands in Scotland.  It was designed and created by John Allen in the 1890s  After researching about this plaque, I found out that the pictures here on the plaque were also symbolic.  Each picture stands for a number.  And these numbers also add up to the same number all around the picture.   It's called a magic square because each row adds up to 18 across the whole board.  5+10+3=18, 5+4+9=18, 9+2+7=18, and 4+6+8= Guess what, 18!

So ok, what does this mean?  What does this have to do with its statement, What' er'thou Art, act well thy part.  If you were to change any of the inscriptions, or change any of the numerical values, the square would cease to be magic.  Just by moving one number, it changes the squares over all standard of being magic.  So in life, as we have different roles and responsibilities, if we don't do our part, or give 100% to all we have committed to do, then it will affect the outcome.  The whole organization will not function as intended.

Or in other words, "What' er thou art, act well thy part," and the whole will function perfectly.

So, what art thou?  Are you a mother, father, brother, son, daughter? Are you a teacher, IRS worker, stay at home wife?  Are you a VP of education, the secretary, or the Sergeant in arms?  Are you a writer, a dancer, a karate master, or soccer player? 

I want you to take a few minutes and write down what you feel your roles and responsibilities are.  Just list them in no particular order, small or large. 

The key to all the responsibilities to all of our roles in life is priority and balance.  Looking at your list then, number them in priority from 1 all the way down.  1 being most important.  Anyone having aha's about their life?  As I thought about my own list I realized that I have been doing my whole life out of order, and that would be okay except that I don't like a skiwompus life.  I want to feel balanced.

Imagine I have an empty jar and some large rocks, smaller rocks, and sand.  The empty jar represents my time that I give to each of my priorities.  The large rocks stand for my larger priorities all the way down to the smallest sands that represent the tiny things in life I have to do like washing the dishes.  What happens if I fill the jar with the smallest items first?  Of course, the other ones won't fit. 

You've heard the proverb, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." We have good intentions in this life to help others, to take care of our family, to be a better cook, to learn how to dance.  but when we do, those intentions start messing with our priorities.  When does our life start to become unbalanced?  I believe that when we start setting aside the real priorities in our lives because they are too hard to deal with, or give us a headache to think about, and start letting slip in those rocks, pebbles, and black eyed peas, that our focus becomes blurred and we lose what it important. 

Let's practice saying no, because that is what it will take fellow toastmasters.  Peggy, will you help me cut my grass this weekend?  Shirley, I haven't cleaned my car out in years.  Could you help me?

Fellow toastmasters, we must learn what NO spells.  When our plates start to pile up, we need to prioritize and remember what is important to us.  Sometimes even though we love to unwind with a good candy crush game, a TV show, or book, we are skirting responsibilities in our life that could help us to be become more balanced in our lives.  Imagine yourself slipping this way or that when you choose to put menial tasks in front of our important ones, or when you fill your plates too high with extra responsibilities.  There is a place for them, but in everything, there must be a balance.

Opening:  Questions/Saying No when you should have

Point of Wisdom:  Running through mud/Too ambitious
Example:  Three novels/Writing Club
Example:  Motivational Speaker/Toastmasters
Example:  3-5th Grade Teacher

Point of Wisdom:  Plaque
Example:  Magic square
Example:  Moving a number
Example:  Doing your part/Example of the tapestry in Prince of Egypt

Point of Wisdom:  Who art we?
Example:  Who was I
Example:  Too much of something is never a good thing/relatives/company
Example:  Rocks in the jar

Closing:  Saying NO when you must

actwell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykfMvoHu6xA


One of my favorite songs is from the movie, "The Prince of Egypt, when the father in law is trying to show Moses what he is worth in God's eyes.

A single thread in a tapestry
though its color brightly shines
can never see its purpose
in the pattern of the grand design
and the stone that sits up on the very top
of the mountain's mighty face
does it think that it's more important
than the stones that forms the base
So how can you see what your life is worth
or where your value lies
ohhhh, you can never see through the eyes of man
you must look at your life
look at your life through heaven's eyes

Mother  2
Daughter  4
Wife  1
Friend  6
Toastmaster  10
Author  9
Dancer  11
Primary President  7
Church member  3
Visiting teacher 6 1/2
Sister  5
Worker  8
Home owner  12
TV watcher  14
Candy Crush player  13

Monday, July 8, 2013

Evaluation of EM Speech # 3

Again, I did not study this speech as much as I should have.  I could be really great I think, if I would just give it the time that it needed.  I don't know if I am not very funny or if all of my friends keep their laughter inside.  :)  It was entertaining they said, and it was a subject that I could relate to everyone.  


Monday, July 1, 2013

EM Speech 4: What Teachers Actually do in the Summer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e58yBAX5UUU


This is what a teacher looks like at the beginning of the year.  (Show first picture)  Put together, confident, knowledgeable, and full of enthusiasm.  This is what we look like at the end of the year. Scraggly, worn out, bloodshot, and hanging by a thread.

Photo
Today I am going to reveal to you the secret of how teachers put themselves back together during the summer so we can appear like this...on the first day of school.  Because I am a teacher I can speak for all teachers as a whole and even though these are top-secret plans, the world needs to know.

At the end of the year, I must confess, most of us look like this, if not worse.  Our eyes are bloodshot and caffeine is the only means of keeping them open.  We hold our clocks like our life depends on it, and biting our tongues is the only way to keep from screaming out loud.  Our clothes hang at odd angles and towards the end, we just do not match anymore.  It may be because we have succumbed to sleeping at the school to assure we show up for work.  Don't tell your kids, but we hide our mattresses in the staff bathrooms wake up 10 minutes before class, flush our head in the toilet and slick our hair back.

Sounds pretty pathetic, I know.  Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why don't we just quit, give up, or run for the hills.

And the secret reason why we endure this pain all year....Because we are waiting for one moment.  One moment.  We wait for it all year and it is the reason we allow ourselves to turn into this monster.

That moment is when the students have left our classrooms for the last time, walked down the halls for the last time, and are pushed out the front doors.  The principal locks the door and every teacher in the building sits quiet and still, waiting to hear the final click of the door.  Then there is a roar heard around the school and possibly around the world.   Like you have never heard...unless you have joined in one.  We live for that moment.  We breathe for that moment.  We teach for that moment.  This one moment represents our freedom for the next blissful months.

So now that the doors are locked, the classrooms have closed, and all teachers have run as fast as they could to the nearest exit, what becomes of teachers during the summer?  Alot of people assume they know what teachers do during the summer months.  I took a survey on Facebook asking friends what they think teachers do during the summer.  Here are some of the assumptions that I saw:  We plan for the next year (Ha), we find a hobby, we study our in-coming student profiles and learn the best ways to teach them. We watch magic school bus and become international spies.

The only one that sounded close was the one Sonya wrote. She said I think that teachers sit in a lonely closet...banging their heads against the wall because they know the school year will begin in 11-12 weeks and they will have to repeat the next 9 1/2 months.  Some teachers actually spend their whole summer doing this very thing.  But the difference is (show picture 2) they look like this picture....all the time.  As most think, we are not in our classrooms planning or looking at new student profiles, or heaven forbid having teacher conferences.  That would be committing career suicide.  We absolutely cannot walk into that school without our eyes burning out, skin melting, or legs snapping backwards to a praying position.

So how do the other teachers, including me, turn out looking like this (show picture 1) at the beginning of a new school year when they looked like this (show picture 2) only months previous.  Today I am revealing super-sonic secrets of the teacherhood.  What is said in this room must stay in this room.  I must put you under oath.  If you are in agree-ance with keeping the super-sonic  secrets of the teacherhood raise your right hand.  All opposed...don't let the door hit you on your way out.

Ok now that you are all under oath, I can now reveal to you the Super-sonic Secrets of the teacherhood.  The first and most important word teachers need to learn is treatment.  Yes, treatment. It's a broad word, but the treatment we undergo is extreme. We have so many things we have to do to return to our natural beauty.  Not all teachers do the same treatments, but we do as many as our small summers allow.  They keep cutting our freedom short each year and so some treatments are ignored.  Reluctance to follow complete treatment may cause wrinkles, multiple gray hairs in each hair pore, slide of the eyes, or even an endless wrinkled shirt in the morning less than halfway through the year.  Thank goodness we are paid all summer to prevent us from going bankrupt from all of these massive surgeries.

Our most major surgery is the face lift.  We have to force our faces back into smiles and cut all of our worry wrinkles away.  (Yes, now you know why I look the way I do all year.)  We spend hours in the sauna and on the massage bed to relax the nerves we have not taken care of all year. We have blood transfusions to move the blood from our feet from standing all day to the proper parts of the body.  All gray hairs are plucked from our heads, nails are filed down to look normal, and white paint is infused into our eyes to cover the bloodshot red. We are sent to scream rooms where we are allowed to scream as loud as we want.  I usually take my student's pictures with me to invoke more feeling into mine.  We re-tattoo our faces with make-up and receive laser hair-removal for all visible ankles, wrists, and other unmentionables.

When we are not in treatment, we are usually on the toilet, relieving our poor bladders that have not had enough breaks during the school year.  While we are on the toilets for many hours, we read as many books that we can, as our brains have emptied of all knowledge or wit.  We must re-read to become educated once more.  If not in the toilet, we are in the doctor's office with back-logged orders of prescriptions for diseases and ailments we have caught from sickly children.

Now our families cannot be forgotten, for they have been forgotten all year because of this jail...I mean job.  Our schedules are very full, but we do eat meals with them.  Actually really long meals.  We allow ourselves two to three hours for 2 meals seeing as we have so much time to make up for all of the lost meals we have had during the fiscal year.  Only our kids and spouses seem annoyed. We relish every soggy noodle.

Now you may think our schedules and procedures are bizarre but they have worked for hundreds of years.  No teacher survives without them.  Do you remember that teacher who had a breakdown halfway through the year...she forget a treatment or two.