Bush Whacking # 3

Purpose: Every speech must have a general and a specific purpose. A general purpose is to inform, to persuade, to entertain, or to inspire. A specific purpose is what you want the audience to do after listening to your speech. Once you have established your general and specific purposes, you’ll find it easy to organize your speech. You’ll also have more confidence, which makes you more convincing, enthusiastic, and sincere. Of course, the better organized the speech is, the more likely it is to achieve your purpose.

Objectives Organize the speech in a manner that best achieves those purposes. Ensure the beginning, body, and conclusion reinforce the purpose. Project sincerity and conviction and control any nervousness you may feel. Strive not to use notes.

(Sit a teddy bear on the lectern and turn sideways to it so you are talking to it.)

You know, it's been a great three months of dating you.  I....just feel like we're in different spots in our life.  You deserve better than me...someone who can love you the way you should be loved.  I am standing in your way and there is someone waiting out there for you.  

Oh my gosh!!!  Don't you just want to slap this girl!  Instead of telling him how she really feels she is playing with his emotions.  Tell the poor boy you are just not that into him.  Stop beating around the bush and say what you really feel.  

Fellow Toastmasters, how many times do we do this similar thing...beat around the bushes of our lives?  How many times do we choose the easier path because it is more convenient? 

The phrase "beating around the bush" came from an old hunting technique? Hunters, especially those hunting boars, or wild pigs, would beat at bushes and trees to get boars to run out of their hiding places. This was safer than confronting them straight on, due to the razor sharp tusks. Beating around the bush saved hunters from being injured by dangerous animals.  In this case it is a helpful idea.

But what if that boar was having a child.  Or going back to school.  Or getting your finances in order.  Or finally working off those holiday pounds.  Would we want to hide behind our computers, or our games, or our TVs? 

What are the boars in our life that we do not want to confront straight on?  What dangerous animals are we hiding from?  What tasks are we putting aside because we are too scared of the risks…or the time… or the effort we would have to put in?

There are many reasons why a person might choose to beat around the bush. Most commonly, it is done when a topic that needs to be discussed is unpleasant. In my breakup example, if a young woman has decided to break up her long-term relationship with her boyfriend, she may not come right out and say "we're through." That would be like attacking a boar.  She is more likely to discuss taking her life in a new direction, showing weaknesses of their current relationship, or sharing benefits from moving on from their life together. This allows her to more gently bring up the subject, and may even get her boyfriend to initiate a conversation about breaking up before she does.  In this case it benefits her without crushing him.  But sometimes, slow deaths are the most painful.  You can get straight to the point without being offensive.  It’s hard, but it’s possible. 

Another time that someone may beat around the bush is when they are asked a question that they don't have a good answer for. An alcoholic may resort to beating around the bush if he or she is asked about the amount of alcohol they regularly drink. A compulsive spender may do the same when asked about his or her finances. This avoidance technique attempts to answer a question without giving a direct response.

Avoiding getting straight into a discussion about something important can have negative consequences, especially in the workplace. Not being able to get right to the point when discussing major business moves can make employees appear unprepared for a meeting. Parents have a harder time teaching their children discipline when they beat around the bush.  Couples who cannot openly discuss problems may have a hard time staying together. While there are times that tactfully beating around the bush may be appropriate, it is generally better to be able to come right out with the matter at hand, instead of trying to indirectly hint at it.

Think about how many relationship problems could have been avoided by coming out with the problem instead of hacking at each other until both are hurting.   We understand why people beat around the bush...to avoid sticky situations, or to prevent people from being hurt.  But how many times does beating around the bushes of our lives prevent us from really feeling something special.  Or hard.  Don't we become stronger people because of the hard things or special events we go through in life?  Do we really want to avoid them then?

How much better will it be at the end of our life to say to our loved ones, “I have lived a fulfilling life?  I have said things that needed to be said.  I have done things I have said I would do.” 

Instead of avoiding the boars and dangerous animals of our lives, let's tackle those life-taking beasts.  Let's take control of our lives and charge right through the bush...come what may.  Let's climb those Mount Everests, of our lives...whether that means taking the jump to mending a relationship, going back to college, chasing an impossible dream job, or even taking that 1^st piano class.  Instead of bush beaters, let’s be bush whackers. 

Mr. Toastmaster

Other resources:

There are many reasons why a person might choose to beat around the bush. Most commonly, it is done when a topic that needs to be discussed is unpleasant. For example, if a young woman has decided to break up her long-term relationship with her boyfriend, she may not come right out and say "we're through." She is more likely to discuss taking her life in a new direction, any personal changes she has experienced, or even the benefit of dating several different partners before marriage. This allows her to more gently bring up the subject, and may even get her boyfriend to initiate a conversation about breaking up before she does.

Another time that someone may beat around the bush is when they are asked a question that they don't have a good answer for. An alcoholic may resort to beating around the bush if he or she is asked about the amount of alcohol they regularly drink. A compulsive spender may do the same when asked about his or her finances. This avoidance technique attempts to answer a question without giving a direct response.

Avoiding getting straight into a discussion about something important by trying to beat around the bush can have negative consequences, especially in the workplace. Not being able to get right to the point when discussing major business moves can make employees appear to be unprepared for the meeting. Parents have a harder time teaching their children discipline when they beat around the bush, and couples who cannot openly discuss problems they may be having will have a hard time staying together. While there are times that tactfully beating around the bush may be appropriate, it is generally better to be able to come right out with the matter at hand, instead of trying to indirectly hint at it.

When someone is avoiding a topic of conversation by sidetracking or using other evasion techniques, it may be said that they are trying to beat around the bush. It is a way of saying that someone is avoiding a problem. It usually involves trying to indirectly work towards a subject, without coming right out with it.

Beating around the bush is called a figure of speech, or an idiom. An idiom is a phrase that cannot be literally translated in a way that makes sense. The meaning has to be taken figuratively. Idioms usually stem from a more literal translation of the phrase that used to be relevant in people's lives. The phrase "beating around the bush" came from an old hunting technique. Hunters, especially those hunting boars, or wild pigs, would beat at bushes and trees to get boars to run out of their hiding places. This was safer than confronting them straight on, due to the razor sharp tusks. Beating around the bush saved hunters from being injured by dangerous animals.