#6 Taming the tongue trouble

Speech 6:  Vocal Variety

• Does your voice put your audience to sleep? Does it put you to sleep?
• Do you find it hard to convey emotions with your voice?
• Are you easy to listen to, or does your voice let you down?

The sixth Toastmasters speech project guides you to harness the power of your own voice. This article of the Toastmasters Speech Series examines the primary goals of this project, provides tips and techniques, and links to numerous sample speeches.

Why is This Speech Important?

• pace,
• pitch,
• power, and
• pauses.

Speech starts here:

Mr. Toastmaster...fellow Toastmasters,

I used to ride horses alot when I lived in Georgia.  Had you ever watched me, you would think I was a natural. Had you stuck around to see me get off the horse, you would see my hands clenched tightly by my side and sweat start to roll down my worried face.  You would see me back as far away as I could. When I set my feet down next to a horse's, you would realize I am no longer the girl who sat so bravely on the saddle.

Maybe it is because I am so small.  Or maybe because when I am in the saddle with a handle on the horse's reins, I know I am safe.  Even though the bit which is in the horse's mouth is so small, it is the key to steering this massive, gentle animal.  How can something so small as a bit be the key to controlling the direction of such an animal?

It is the same with ships.  No matter the size, the ships are controlled but by a small helm, or steering wheel.  By a flick of the wrist, the ship is able to turn this way or that.  No matter the wind, the waves, or the amount of weight it carries.  It is controlled by this small integral part of the ship.

These examples illustrate how the next few verses I will read have haunted me for many years.   In short it reads,  "the tongue is a little member, and ^aboasteth great things. Behold, how great a ^bmatter a little fire kindleth!  And the ^atongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: and setteth on fire the course of nature; But the ^atongue can no man tame; it is an ^bunruly evil, full of deadly poison."

How many of you have ever gotten in trouble because you let your tongue get away from you?  You just had to say that one thing.   One of my favorite nicknames in high school was "Mouth of the south." I earned that nickname.  I talked alot.  I still do, but imagine how much I talk now, and triple that.  I talked to people at school.  I talked to people at my various activities after school.   I even talked to people in grocery lines.  I could start a conversation about anything.  Still can!  I must have gotten that from my dad.  He was so friendly to everyone and I saw the value in that. Being involved in many people's lives, you start to get involved with their trials and challenges also. I guess that is where the trouble comes in.  I am very bold when I have an opinion.  I stand up for what I think is right and sometimes I have to step on toes to accomplish that.

How can we be so kind and just one moment, and yet, our tongues best us the next.  I can't tell you all the times, my mouth has gotten me in trouble.  I am one of those really blunt loud mouths that has to say exactly how I feel or I am going to burst.  Following the outburst, there is a moment of satisfaction, and then a world of regret.

It seems the better I know the person, the more I am more likely to do this.  I justify that this person would know me enough that it wouldn't bother them.  But I am always wrong about that.  No one likes to hear correction.  No one likes criticism.  No one likes to be told that they are not doing enough.  And I seem to have a full bucket of corrections, criticisms  and things for them to do my way.

Essentially tongues are the epitome of who we are.  Even though a very small member of our bodies, as I said before, a tongue is a fire. We may do many kind deeds in life like serving at a soup kitchen, or volunteering at the Blood drive.  We may visit the sick or the needy.  We may even change a person's life for the better.  But as soon as we say something that hurts another, all of those acts of kindness burn and turn to ash.  Later in this chapter I have read from, it says, "Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. Doth a ^afountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?

I had an "aha moment"as I sat reading these verses.  How could I profess to be one person, but allow myself to let these daggers and swords escape my tongue?  And then the memories started to roll in.  I thought of all the many broken relationships that I've had where I had to say that last part and scare them to high heaven.  I thought of the many times I had to get the last word in an argument with my parents and then to top it off with a door slam.  I thought of all the many petty fights I had with my girlfriends back in high school and college that left damaged friendships left and right.  Who would I be today if I would have found some duct tape for my mouth?  What relationships and friendships would I have prevented from harm if I would have just closed this "mouth of the south?"

Unfortunately, I have had many experiences where bitter water has flowed fitfully from my mouth.  It seemed I was unable to stop it.  Or I just didn't want to.  What I had to say needed to be said eventually, and why not be the one to say it?  That person would eventually get over it and would realize the credit of me saying it to them in the first place.  Maybe not right away, but one day.


But who was I to ruin their course of life?  Ultimately, I cannot change who they are.  I can lovingly suggest and lead and guide, but I do not even have the right to do that in most cases.  I guess there really is no point in looking back.  Although, I do think recognition of weaknesses is power.  I don't want to be one of those people that build hundreds of bridges that benefit others, and then burn them all down with hurtful words and wrong decisions made by my unruly tongue.   Taming the tongue will not be easy.  But I think of all those times where my tongue has gotten me into trouble.  Times where my tongue has ruined relationships for good.  And I am sure it will be worth it.