Reflection of Speech # 4

This was the last speech I had to give to qualify for the International Conference.  So I wrote this...a little too quickly and if I hadn't had 3 stories to tell, I don't know how I could have remembered the whole speech.

I rushed this speech and I am glad that I now qualify for the contest, but I feel the last three speeches I did not give enough life to.

The three stories I told were about my mother and her dislocated shoulder, the story about Mackenzie sneezing in my hand, and the ultrasound story.  One thing I got feedback on is that I shared two serious memories and one un-important memory.  I meant to do that though.  I have been struggling with the people who have evaluated me. They do not know the goals of my speech and they never comment on how effectively I match the goals of the speech to my writing.

I am finding more and more that writing and speaking are VERY different.  I am great at writing my speeches out quickly and smoothly, but  when it gets time to saying out loud  it sounds very scripted and dead.  I wish I could just speak on the fly.  Not quite there.

Smiling through the Rain #7

Picture that person who is always smiling, always happy.  They always have something going for them.  They always seem to be busy.  You would never think that person had a problem or care in the world, never slowed down, and definitely never spent their time on idle things that normal people love to waste hours on.  

Fellow Toastmasters,

I am one of these people.  On the outside, I am very outgoing and friendly to everyone.  I am really involved with my family, job, and various interests.  I try to keep myself busy, because I know, if I slow down, I will crash....again.  

I've struggled with Depression for over 8 years.  In the long spectrum, it may not seem a lot.  But that is 8 years of worrying about what I am doing in my life, struggling with my horrible thoughts of myself and others, and controlling who I know I am and who I should be.  

Depression affects 121 million people worldwide.  In a study recorded by Mental Health America, they reported that Utah was the most depressed state.  Among adults in Utah, 10.14 percent experienced a depressive episode in the past year and 14.58 percent experienced serious psychological distress.  

On average, the higher the number of psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers per capita in a state, the lower the suicide rate.  The lower the percentage of the population reporting that they could not obtain healthcare because of costs, the lower the suicide rate and the better the state's depression status. In addition, the lower the percentage of the population that reported unmet mental healthcare needs, the better the state's depression status.  Holding the baseline level of depression in the state constant, the higher the number of antidepressant prescriptions per capita in the state, the lower the suicide rate. The more educated the population and the greater the percentage with health insurance, the lower the suicide rate. The more educated the population, the better the state's depression status.

The center for Disease Control and Prevention

1 in 10 people report depression.  

Who Tends to be Most Depressed?

This study found the following groups to be more likely to meet criteria for major depression:

• persons 45-64 years of age
• women
• blacks, Hispanics, non-Hispanic persons of other races or multiple races
• persons with less than a high school education
• those previously married
• individuals unable to work or unemployed
• persons without health insurance coverage

 In can affect a person's ability to work, form relationships, and destroy their quality of life. At its most severe depression can lead to suicide and is responsible for 850,000 deaths every year. 

Now for those of you that have never experienced depression, imagine crawling into a very dark, deep puddle of mud.  You ooze down the edges of that puddle and you just sit there.  Alone.  In a pile of mud, with no desire to get out.  You would rather stay in that pile of mud, than to climb your way out, wash yourself down, and be with others...who are clean.  It's honestly one of the scariest feelings I have had...that I cared so little about my life.  I could talk forever about my depression and how its kept me from things that I love, but that's not very motivational.  

What I see as motivating and encouraging is that I did not stay in the mud for long. I wallowed for awhile, but eventually I found the energy that I needed to find my way to the top.  I always got up and smiled, knowing I had time to conquer it for awhile.  

Depression is an on-going battle I feel I will never win.  And I hope I never do.  Because if I did, I would give up trying so hard.  But when I remember those times in my life when I was a happy go-lucky girl, and I look in the mirror and see another person, I claw my way out of that mud puddle until I can see my face again.  

Never give up on yourself.  You are your biggest fan.  No person on this earth can fight your battles for you.  They can give you nice baths when you climb out and give you encouraging shouts from the top, but ultimately, you are the one with the muscles and willpower to climb out of that mud puddle.  

Reach up # 10

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”   I'd have to agree with Mr. Gandhi here.  When you are troubled about yourself and your weight seems too heavy to carry...turn to others.  Lend a hand, a foot, or even a smile...and find at the other side your own self. 

Why serve?  Why take what spare time that you have to give to another. That's a good question and you need the answer.  Service has to be done with the right attitude or it is not effective.  Serving others fills a hole in your heart you didn't know was there.  It helps us forget about ourselves and keeps our hearts in check.  I am humbled to serve others because I find my troubles and challenges are small comparability and it gives me a broader perspective for my own life.  Now that I have convinced you of the benefit of serving, I want to share some easy ways that we can serve to find deeper meaning in our lives.  

The easiest way to serve others is by looking in the next bedroom.  Sometimes the people who need us most are only a hop, skip, and a jump away. Quoting one of my favorite leaders, he said, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."  So often we look for the award winning service, something that will stand out against the other contributions in life. But seeing those that we love succeed at their lives is reward enough.  Who is close to you in your own lives that you can serve? 

It is said that when you serve another person, you start to love them more.  I tested this out once.  I lived with a roommate that drove me a like bonko sometimes.  So I decided to find little ways in which to serve her.  I made her bed, I left little notes, and I surprised her with her favorite candy after she had survived a long week.  At the end of the week, I took a little evaluation of the situation.  She was still grumpy and not much had changed in her attitude towards me, but what did change was my attitude towards her.  Serving her showed me who she really was.  I could step outside of myself and see life from her perspective. 

Now I am married and I have a permanent roommate who I can try all of my skills out on.  Who would have thought serving someone I live with would help me later on.  I also have a new roommate, nine months old, and the most adorable face you've ever seen.  I am finding so much joy in serving him.  Motherhood is honestly the best service project I have signed up for.  I love being with my son, playing with him, loving him, and teaching him the ropes of life.  What greater service can you give, but to your own children. 

So recapping this thought, serving those that are closest to us is the way to go. We learn life lessons from them and find our greatest joy in their successes. 

Another easy way to serve is by getting involved with a group.  One unforgettable experience I will never forget is when I went with the 4-H club to the nursing home.  We played the game "Honey, please smile" with the patients during a Valentine’s party.  It's a game where you have to try to get those in your group to crack a smile. A bold and vivacious patient sat square in my lap, flashed me a toothy grin, and proposed right there on the spot.  My smile did not stay hidden for long.  I cracked like an egg and had a great time visiting with him later. It's time like these that you realize it’s not just about doing something for others that they cannot do themselves.  It is about getting to know people and realizing that they are just like you.  Clubs and group settings are a perfect way to give acts of service for others. 

Luckily, we are already involved in a great club that naturally gives service to others.  Out of the ten roles of Toastmasters, there is not one that would not benefit your club members.  An evaluator is key in helping a member improve on their speaking skills.  A toastmaster is encouraging others to speak in an impromptu situation.  Even the humorist is trying to improve the mood of the meeting.  I will never forget when a fellow toastmaster shared a joke with us. He had heard some despairing news that day, and yet he smiled anyway and spread some cheer.  Now that is what I am talking about! If you don't feel like smiling...smile until you do!  

The last way you can serve is to get involved with your community.  Most people would think of big ideas like giving blood, adopting a highway, or getting involved politically.  But bigger projects are not the only way we can reach out.  Sometimes just a smile while passing on the street can change the life of someone.  Small things like saying hello, opening the door for another, or lending an ear to a friend can go a long way in someone's life.

And that is why I do service.  These little acts of kindness keep me going. They help give me hope that this world is becoming a better place, one smile at time. So you look around you as you walk down the street.  Who can you touch today?  Look for opportunities to serve those who are closest to us and value the service we give in our own clubs and communities.  Reach up by reaching out.